How Urban Dictionary Defines Your School

US News & World Report has their opinion. So does the Princeton Review. But really, who cares what they think? Leave it to students to give you the real deal on what happens at your college. The contributors on Urban Dictionary speak the truth-even if it's just the truth according to that student. Read on to find out the inside scoop on your school of choice, whether it's good, bad, or ugly. Or just full of misspellers and punctuation phobes.

• Augsburg College: Mom 1: "My son goes to Augsburg College." Mom 2: "Ahh, he must be quite the little brah." Mom 1: "You're right, he is."
• Elizabethtown College: "Oh you go to Elizabethtown College? Isn't that in Kentucky!?" "Uh, no. But it's 15 minutes from Hershey, PA and smells like chocolate."
• Otley College: "The students are known as "Dotleys" as they are so interlectually challenged they do not know how to speak properly."
• Lynchburg College: "A college of class and understanding, where you can pop your collar, wear your khakis and speerys one day, and go punk the next. This diamond in the rough is found in central Virginia. Hot chicks, cool guys, and parties year round. No matter if you want to be greek or athletic LC has got it all in one place…and did I mention everyone there is loaded?"
• University of Tampa: "The University of Tampa…we pregame like you party and we live where you spring break!"
• College of the Canyons: "Dude, college of the canyons is for retards…I love this school. Let's go find some weed and get faded, B%#*!."
• University of Miami: "The only place in the world where a hairy Jewish kid will get laid by a supermodel."
• American University: "this is the school that costs 40k a year with no benefits."
• University of Northern British Columbia: "A university located in Prince George, British Columbia. Known as UNBC and the University of No Better Choice."
• Catholic University of America: "Humorist PJ O'Rourke once stated, "I've always figured that if God wanted us to go to church a lot He'd have given us bigger behinds to sit on and smaller heads to think with." After one visit, it becomes apparent that God has obliged PJ with an entire University with suitable Church-goers."
• The College of New Jersey: "Probably the Best freaking public school in the state of New Jersey, and maybe even the Tri-State area. TCNJ's students are made up of some of the best leftovers that didn't have the money to afford Princeton."
• Ryerson University: "THE WORST UNIVERSITY IN TORONTO. i HATE THIS PIECE OF S%#$ BUILDING. I HATE THIS UNIVERSITY. THEY TAKE ALL YOUR MONEY BECAUSE THEY ARE GREEDY B%#*!ES AND BASTARDS. I F&*!IN HATE RYERSON UNIVERSITY I HATE RYERSON UNIVERSITY"
• Boston College: "a.k.a. "Backup College" A school for wealthy, spoiled children who couldn't get into any of the following schools: MIT, Harvard, Georgetown, Notre Dame, Bunker Hill Community College. Located about as far away from Boston as a school could be while still having the word Boston in its title, BC is known for unattractive women, effeminate men, and a second-rate faculty."
• Alfred University: "Only the best university ever. Its mad good Art school and its insane engineering school, mixed in with the Liberal Arts school make for a sick diversity of students that just adds to the flavor."
• Notre Dame: "Notre Dame student: I drive a Mercedes." Boston College student: "I drive a 1985 Mercedes"
• Johnson and Wales University: "A 4 year university in the heart of Providence Rhode Island. Mainly known for its outstanding Business Technology and Hospitality programs and its outstanding looking students. JWU has some of the best looking students in the country, mainly rich kids from the northeast that love to party and hook up."
• Boston University: "I wasn't aware sweatpants that tight existed. I salute you, dolce & gabbana."
• Clark College: "Clark College was pretty much High school with smoking but they recently banned smoking on campus."
• Hampton University: "hampton university is a "black" university which barely shows black pried where all of the stuck up b%#*! high maintenance girls go who just are gold diggers and pretend good prestigious "woman" AKA GIRLS the boy are collar poppers and you only get laid if your a fraternity if not you are not getting laid! schools wack!"
• Goucher College: "Goucher College, located in the heart of Towson, Maryland is not only known for its impressive curriculum, it is known for its 'freaks and geeks.' Not just your average freak or geek but a die hard "Pirate Club" member, Cat and Muppet girl and a large population of overly (weird) artistic individuals who are most likely homosexual."
• Quinnipiac University: Fairfield/Wesleyan Student: Our girls are ugly and I am failing philosophy 101. Quinnipiac Student: That's too bad. I met Miss Connecticut at Quinnipiac University. We are in love and plan to marry after I graduate from law school in the spring.
• Michigan State University: "Uh, yeah…I got into Michigan, but, uh…yeah…I saw how they studied so I was like 'F&*! THAT'."
• Wartburg College: "Local residents are known as "Warts"–think condylomata acuminata or other human papillomaviri of the anogenital variety–and quite predictably answer to the mating call "Warts Suck!"
• Syracuse University: "Something like a college Where you supposedly gain knowledge A beautiful campus set in a bad city The time and place to get extremely s%#$ty "
• University of Western Ontario: "I've been all over the University of Western Ontario and now it hurts to pee."
• University at Buffalo: "The University at Buffalo (also known as the University of Bulls%#$, which comes from thier mascot Victor E. Bull) is a very "prestigious" SUNY SKOOL located in the the middle of the artic tundra of a hell hole known as Buffalo (also known as Hoth!")
• Northern Arizona University: "A public university located in Flagstaff, Arizona. A better option for Arizona residents who prefer snowboarding over suntanning. NAU is the hardest school to get into in the state of Arizona – they require a higher SAT/ACT score for entrance in combination with GPA from high school students."
• University of Akron: "The s%#$tiest excuse for a school ever created."
• Cambridge University: "Second best university in the world, following Harvard. Second best university in the United Kingdom, trailing Oxford. And forever will it be second best."
• University of California San Diego: "I got into the three best UC's. Berkeley, LA, and San Diego. I could live in a foggy s%#$hole, in a cloud of pollution, or by a ocean bluff…what did you THINK I'd choose?"
• Widener University: "It is a place where you dont want to cross the bridge or else you might get shot. It has about 5,000 students yet the parties are always at the same few houses or andorn. You always know someone at a party; almost everyone. The drunk bus is very convenient. It is the only school that can order pizza at 3am in the morning from ACAPULCO! While walking on campus late at night, a car drives by, and the thought of "a drive by" or getting raped by a CHESTERITE runs through your head at least once. Gotta love Chester!!!"
• University of Central Florida: "Normally, when people are confronted with a woman of exceptional beauty, they become scared and nervous. UCF grads are well-versed in how to deal with such women."
• Kansas State University: Kevin: "So I want to go to MIT and study engineering, but I am stuck in the middle of Kansas and don't have enough money!" Professor: "Forget MIT, Kansas State University is just as good and is only an hour away!"
• University of Chicago: "I knew this really cool kid but he ended up at u of c. he now writes angst-ridden poetry and has forgotten what sunlight looks like."
• Ohio University: "you might as well have a toilet paper dispenser that says "ohio university diplomas, take one."
• University of Colorado: "Are you going to the University of Colorado football game? Maybe, after I pack another bowl."
• University of Houston: "The U of H mascot is a fierce predator, and the University's hand symbol is "The Shocker," a popular and entertaining sex act. The only downside to this august bastion of knowledge in the south is the fact that it nearly requires committing a murder in order to find a parking space on the primarily commuter campus."
• Auburn University: "When traveling through Auburn do not smile as you may be regarded as someone with "a pretty mouth".
• University of Denver: "Yes, half the students may look like huge good for nothing stoners, but they probably drive a Range Rover and will own their own business one day."
• University of Florida: "I payed the University of Florida 15,000 dollars this semester and they made me move my car so the F&*!ing alumni could tailgate in my spot."
• Colgate University: "So, where are you going to college?" "Colgate University." "Oh, I didn't know you were so interested in toothpaste! Do you want to be a dentist?"
• University of Iowa: "Educational institute where learning comes third to drinking and football. Also: location where much potential is wasted and/or destroyed."
• Pepperdine University: "An extremely expensive University located in the mountains of Malibu overlooking the Pacific. Walk through the student parking lots and you are sure to see at LEAST a handful of cars that are more expensive than your house back in your hometown."
• University of Kentucky: Nuclear Physicist: "Lets see, we have applicants from Harvard, Yale, and MIT. who do we pick?" Other Nuclear Physicist: "Throw those away, we have one from the University of Kentucky!" Nuclear Physicist: "Hired!"
• St. John's University: "A place where average people shine."
• University of Louisiana: "Tradition is a very important part of UL and can be seen at every turn. Traditions such as having random F&*!ing swamps everywhere. The long time tradition of making fun of handicap people is abundant around UL. The numerous broken elevators, the crosswalks that require a full sprint to make it across in time, and impossibly steep wheel chair ramps make it obvious that UL likes to give the finger to anyone in a wheelchair. I hear that next year they will be putting rock walls and a short swimming exercise in front of the wheel chair ramps as part of the "Make it to class on time cripple!" 2010 challange."
• University of Michigan: "An elite school where the fake hippy lexus driving women come complete with armpit hair, the men all want to be Trey from Phish, and the athletes breeze through what appears to be a collection of middle school classes."
• University of Oklahoma: "All of the janitors at my school are University of Oklahoma fans."
• University of Oregon: "University of Oregon: Keeping ugly girls out of Oregon State University since 1876."
• University of San Diego: "Your daughter is rich, snobby, and bleached blonde with a bad tan. She'll fit right in here at USD. She can park her Lexus right over there."
• University of Scranton: "A college in North East Pennsylvania with tons of hills. Run by Jesuits, attended by primarily white, rich kids from just outside Philly, and New Jersey, who enjoy drinking as much as humanly possible. And then sometimes going to Church."
• University of South Carolina: "A school in a town designed for college kids. Within a mile radius, you can make a fake ID at Kinko's, buy a bottle of everclear at Greene's, mix it with a Sonic slushy, sell your plasma for bar money, and head to Five Points. From there you can get arrested, taken to the Richland County Jail and can walk to the football stadium for the game the next day if your friends don't bail you out in time. Whoever designed this college and city knew what they were doing. And whoever came up with the mascot — well, wherever that person is, I'm sure he's still smiling about it. "
• University of South Florida: "Recently, administrators at the school announced they would not be able to construct housing for students because of the strong community support for the existing pawn shops and liquor stores that surround the campus. The current money mismanagement crisis at the school has caused students to question the number of luxurious pieces of furniture in the president's office, which include a miniature model of an on-campus football stadium with a plaque reading "Someday…" attached.
• University of St. Thomas: "A school located in St. Paul, Minnesota that was established for spoiled, rich kids who think their s%#$ doesn't smell. It is a collaboration of douches who become sexually aroused at the very sight of an Abercrombie & Fitch logo."
• University of Tennessee: "Basically, UT is the balls, aside from being in a really bad city, Knoxville."
• Saint Lawrence University: "A small private university located in the middle of nowhere, NY; stone's throw from Canada in the town of Canton consisting of 4 restaurants, 2 clothing stores, 1 movie theatre, McDonalds and of course the Tic Toc. Now down to 1 fraternity– the norm: drinking almost every night of the week. If you don't drink, campus is pretty boring, but you can sometimes find things to do."
• University of Warwick: "American Vice Chancellor who wants to take over the Far East and redefine himself in the image of Blofeld before he leaves; but that's OK because he's (probably) richer than everyone!"
• University of Texas: "University of Texas is for rejected IVE league-wanna-be-bound Students who had to resort to a fallback school whose colors are burnt orange( being the colors babies s%#$ out their ass), with a mascot being a cow (should we be shaking of fear?)-way to represent the state of Texas guys. A&M has a dog that could possibly have an aggressive aspect to it, and thank god at LEAST one of the Texas schools represented in the big12 has a mascot with a GUN huge props TEXAS TECH."
• George Washington University: "Former alum include such dictators as Raul Castro, Hugo Chavez, and Saddam Hussein, which leads to my point that this school was built by secret Pentagon and CIA funds to train dictators."
• University of Toledo: "The University of Toledo, located in the sprawling urban slum of Toledo, Ohio offers students a waste of their college years. Offerring an intensely limited array of majors, advisors and professors strive to either fail their students, or mess up their schedules just enough so that students will have to "enjoy" an extra year at this excellent university. Admission is not based on academic excellence in high school, but whether or not you can pay tuition. As an added bonus, every student graduates with a minor in ebonics. Graduates leave with the warm memories of foreign people teaching Comp 1, BET blasting on all of the TV sets in the Student Union, AVI eggs that look like sponges, squirrels that are bigger than great danes, and the knowledge that now they don't have to worry about the "parking nazis" anymore. If this school sounds like what you are looking for in higher education, ask your self these questions: do you like rap? do you like living in the ghetto? do you mind driving around in circles looking for a place to park for at least an hour? do you believe in Title 9? do you like not seeing the sun for 11.9 months out of the year? do you prefer to waste your youth away? Then this is the school for you!"
• Bryant University: "Where today's alcoholics are tomorrows CEOs"
• University of Toronto: "University of Toronto student: OMG WTF that guy from Ryerson got the job! I spent 4 years being a no-life, phoning my professors every weekend asking for research positions during the summer, worked my ass off, graduated with a 3.5 gpa and I still didn't get the job."
• University of Dallas: "A small Catholic wonderland located outside of Dallas in a suburb called Irving. Though the average student may obey the rules or pray for fun, a typical UD-er shares an increased spiritual perceptiveness and an above average intelligence. Academics are intense, professors are involved, Deans eat in the campus dining hall, and unlike most colleges- dedicated monagamous relationships are cool."
• University of Tulsa: "A small private university, filled with kids that represent the "TU special" or an odd collection of people who were too good to go to state schools. The school also possesses one of the creepiest school mascots costumes in Division 1a athletics. The school is generally considered to over-priced and its students arrogant assholes."
• Lehigh University: "Lehigh University is drunk."
• University of Utah: "Institute of higher education in the state of Utah. Mormons come here to "go wild", other people come to get a hint of what Nazi prison camp was like. Upon graduation, most students enter one of the state's two industries: religion or skiing."
• Indiana University: "Indiana University is where students inexplicably acquire the psychotic condition of 'delusion of grandeur' soon after enrollment. In addition, sports fans of the school acquire this condition even without ever stepping foot on the campus. What is most disturbing is that this condition is somehow spread to children of the afflicted at an early age. All aspects of life are consumed by this delusion. E.g. the sports teams are considered much better than reality; the school academics are considered much higher rated than reality; and the social atmosphere is considered of a higher reputation than reality. However, the reality is that underachievement is the norm."
• University of Vermont: " buy university of vermont mugs, tshirts and magnets The finest institute in the great state of Vermont. Who knew that out of a population of almost 10,000, nearly 9,997 students are Phish fans."
• George Mason University: "Notorious for bad parking, finding a space at Mason is like finding a transsexual at a Republican National Conference; if you're lucky."
• University of Washington: "The only college where the greatest fighter of all time "BRUCE LEE" went to study and major in Philosophy. Also later becoming one of the greatest Philosophers of Martial Arts as well."
• Radford University: "With the highest STD rate you can get an ear infection just from callin one of them."
• University of Waterloo: "A university situated in Southern Ontario, it is acclaimed for its prestigious Engineering and Math programs. It is also notorious in the poker world as a "Poker Factory", producing many of the top players in the WSOp, like Nenad Medic, Michael McDonald, Steve Black, Will Ma etc."
• Western Michigan University: "A college of filthy animals or "A Zoo", known for their grenades and all-star douchebags."
• University of Wisconsin Madison: "A weekend in Madison? I don't think I can handle another liver transplant."
• University of Wyoming: "Boring little school that is the poster child of 'the middle of nowhere.' The only four year place of higher education (if you want to call it education) in the state. Pros: has a beautiful view, is the state with the second most beautiful girls in the country, has a long term parking lot, there's a Wal-Mart. Cons: Cowboys, Cowboy attitude, lack of culture/class, lack of parking space, there's a Wal-Mart."
• DePaul University: "In the heart of Lincoln Park, IL with the hottest honeys."
• Harvard: Fellow Employee: "So hey where'd you graduate from?" Bob: (arrogant, slightly pompous tone) Harvard. Fellow Employee: "Woaah…(awed silence)"
• Elon University: "An amazing school in a small town in North Carolina. Home to amazing parties and even more amazing girls. Everyone there drinks… Heavily."
• Palomar College: "10% community college 10% ashtray 80% parking lot"
• Pace University: "An institution in New York City where partying isn't optional, it's mandatory and the core curriculum."
• Williams College: "A small, pretentious, and overpriced liberal arts college in Western Massachusetts."
• Simmons College: "You hooked up with a girl from Simmons College? Did she have a shaved head?"
• Kenyon College: Ivy League Kid: You go to Kenyon College? Like, Africa?
• Connecticut College: "Connecticut College, founded in 1911, all women until 1969, is home to some of the biggest stoners on earth."
• Agnes Scott College: "Oh, that's Helga. She goes to Agnes Scott College. Odds are, she's a lesbian obsessed with Harry Potter."
• Smith College: "Just because I go to Smith College, that does not make me a man-hating lesbian. I was one of those regardless."
• Sweet Briar: "Sweet Briar is a small, all-women's liberal arts school that is about doing it all: playing a varsity sport, holding a leadership position in ten different clubs, having a boyfriend, having three campus jobs, and earning an amazing GPA, all while wearing pearls and a pink bow in your hair."
• Washington College: "A small liberal arts college on the Eastern shore of Maryland where the rich and not so famous send their children to get a good education while learning life lessons of booze and sex."
• Assumption College: AKA "Consumption College".
• Neumann College: "I graduated from a bigger Highschool then neumann college."
• Dean College: "The population drops from 900 students to 200 for weekends since most students live within a two hour drive."
• Hendrix College: "Hendrix College, though extremely unaccepting of different views, is in all other cases very inviting and a great place to go to school. Great Parties too."
• Providence College: "A very small, very white, very catholic college in the ghettos of providence. 95% of students are carbon-copies of one another, not that that's a bad thing. they are generally attractive, white, upper middle class, moderately intelligent, with a super-human capacity for alcohol."
• Wheaton College: "Wealthy finishing school retreat where drugs, i.e. coke, are more important than attending class and the cutting edge "pop" three collars."
• Kalamazoo College: "We're a pretty happy bunch of kids and we like our pot and licquor nice and strong. Even when we are sick, overworked, and falling over from the lack of sleep, we still love K College."
• Bridgewater State College: "Bridgewater State College is da shizzle my nizzle because Grizzly owns you with rubinoff handles."
• Johns Hopkins University: "However prestigious its medical programs may be, or perhaps due to it, the female populace at this institution resemble Bonobo monkeys. Instead of the normal 1~10 normal scale that is used to describe their physical beauty, Hopkins females go into a different ranking system called HIV (Hopkins Impared Vision) where the 1~10 scale lies somewhere around -7~3 on the normal scale. (Negative scales reflect the rating you'd give the person had you been ranking males)"
• Xavier University: Xavier University Student Dialogue Xavier Student 1: "Hey, do you wana go to a kegger on the other side of campus?" Xavier Student 2: "yea, sure… how many cases of beer?" Xavier Student 1: "1" Xavier Student 2: "omg. im gona get so wrecked tonight!"
• Ohio State University: "An institution dedicated to producing employees for companies owned by graduates of The University of Michigan."
• University of Rochester: "Although located in what many would consider the armpit of America, the University of Rochester is an institution of higher learning held in surprisingly high regard both internationally and domestically."